January 2011
19 posts
“My Visitor Counter just reached 5000+”
– *Dave is very high now, please leave a message* :D
Jan 29th
Jan 29th
Ready? Aim? _ _ _ _!
Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim …” Suddenly the brunette yells, “earthquake!!” Everyone is startled and looks around. She...
Jan 28th
17 tags
Jan 27th
20 tags
Jan 24th
29 tags
“Think about it!”
–  It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from your mouth to your stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman’s heart beats faster then a man’s. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just...
Jan 18th
11 tags
Fake Messages in My Facebook Inbox #01
To EVERYONE who has got the message from the ‘Founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg’, please stop spreading fake messages, Facebook will never delete your account just because you are ‘inactive’.                           Here is the  original message I received from more than TWENTY people: Facebook is recently becoming very overpopulated,there have been many ...
Jan 18th
25 tags
Foreign Scams in my Inbox #01
I’m sick of these mails. Nah, I’m just kidding, they’re funny to read! Check out my responses to her email! ;) From: Mrs. Jamilia Jude (jamiliajude2009@gmail.com) FROM THE DESK OF JAMILIA JUDE THE AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING SECTION MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA,(B.O.A.) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO. (Oogadooga~WHAT? I haven’t ever heard of that place in my life! And you think...
Jan 16th
21 tags
Jan 15th
30 tags
Facebook: We are NOT shutting down on March 15
A dozen people have already told me very confidently that Facebook, the world’s most popular social networking site is gonna shut down on March 15, 2011. BULLSHIT. This is just a rumor, that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg  wants to shut the site down so ‘he can have his quiet old life back.’ According to the report, The Facebook Corporation suggests that ‘users remove...
Jan 9th
334 notes
30 tags
Types of Facebookers
There are millions of people on Facebook today. A few are actually smart, many just normal and some totally stupid. ALL of them, including me, do at least three or more of the things listed below. If not even one applies to you, then you’re either lying or just  not ready to accept that they actually apply to you. Here they are! Types of Facebookers 01. The over photo editor. 02....
Jan 9th
30 tags
Listen Homer calls AA to inform the operator that he...
Jan 9th
30 tags
Jan 7th
30 tags
Why are you a Man?
!WARNING SEXIST CONTENT! 1. OPENING JARS - She’s struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn’t. Jars are men’s work. 2. CALLING SOMEONE ‘SON’ - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you …the man. 3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart Pearce...
Jan 6th
28 tags
The Widow & the Grave
Reynold, Roshan and I visited an old churchyard from the 1700s. Among the tombstones was one dated around 1725 that had fresh flowers by it.
Reynold: "I wonder who has been here with the flowers?"
Me: (joking) "I guess the widow has been here."
Roshan: "Yes, I guess you're right. Who else could it have been?"
Me: .....
Jan 4th
24 tags
Jan 4th
30 tags
ListenButterflies in my Stomach (Use GOOD Headphones) ...
Jan 2nd
30 tags
WatchWatch
Who The Fuck Is Justin Bieber? - Ozzy Osbourne
Jan 1st
7 notes
December 2010
12 posts
30 tags
“Your car is Japanese. Your Vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab...”
Dec 31st